Mechantula by Yeager Steve R

Author:Yeager, Steve R. [Yeager, Steve R.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2015-04-09T04:00:00+00:00

-6-

DOWN THE WRONG HOLE

BUT, BEFORE DAVE could plan anything, he had another, much more immediate urge.

He had the sudden urge to push.

“Don’t,” he whispered as he reached behind himself to pinch his boxer briefs together.

“What is it?” Dawn asked.

“Nothing,” Dave said, “just…”

“You gotta poop?” Johnny said. “Seriously? Or did you already? Did you shit yourself?”

“Goddamn it. This is not”—Dave broke wind—“funny.”

“Ah man, Dave. You’ve got some major issues, bro, seriously.”

“I’m not your bro, bro. But, yeah, I’m serious.”

“Then just go squat over there,” Johnny said, pointing to a darkened corner.

There was no way in hell Dave was ever going to squat in some dark corner while Dawn was watching. No way at all.

His stomach grumbled noisily.

“Come on,” Dave said, lifting each foot from the floor in turn. He had no idea where to go, so he started down the corridor in front of him, glancing left and right, holding his briefs pinched closed behind him with one hand.

The walls to either side looked like something out of the movie Alien. It was as if H.R. Giger himself had designed them. Tubes of blue and green and other various swirly things were everywhere.

As he rounded the corner, Dave spotted an arched doorway to his right.

“Stay here,” he said.

Johnny piled up behind Dave. “We should stick together,” he said.

Dave glared briefly at Johnny. Dawn grabbed Johnny by the arm and whispered something in his ear.

“Okay, then,” Johnny said, stopping and folding his arms across his bare chest.

Still holding his underwear clamped together, Dave entered the room. And what he saw there made him release the clench he held on his butt cheeks. Fortunately, the effect was minimal and nothing snuck through.

Diamonds?

The room was literally filled with piles of glittering diamonds. All colors, too. From clear to blue to brown to yellow to pink. Any one of them could make Dave a very rich man.

His stomach grumbled again.

There was a place, he saw. A place to sit with a hole in the middle. It was as if it had been made to order. It even looked spotlessly clean.

Hallelujah!

Dave hurriedly yanked down his briefs and sat on the round hole. It was nearly a perfect fit.

He pushed.

And grunted.

And moaned.

And grimaced.

Then.

Dink!

A small pebble dropped in the receptacle below him, making a pinging noise as it fell away. He heard the tiny pebble continue to ping away as if it were a tiny steel ball bearing.

Then everything became silent again.

Maybe he did need more fiber.

He glanced around the room and grunted again, squeezing his eyes shut in effort.

“Dave, you alright in—?” Johnny said. “Oh, wow!”

Dave opened his eyes. Johnny was standing in the room now. His jaw was hanging slack, and his hands had fallen to his sides. Dawn was behind him, politely avoiding eye contact with Dave.

“Diamonds?” Johnny said. “Diamonds? We get out of this thing alive, we’re rich! This Price is definitely right.”

Johnny set the radio down and dipped his hands into a pile of diamonds and let them fall through his fingers.

“Put those back,” Dawn said.

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